


send me balloons (we can laugh at the doom)

by Veilrony



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist (Anime 2003), Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: (??), F/F, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, The Depression(tm), Trans Girl Fletcher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 05:40:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14182062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veilrony/pseuds/Veilrony
Summary: Fletcher still feels guilty for what she's done, and Mei wishes that she knew how to help.





	send me balloons (we can laugh at the doom)

**Author's Note:**

> *yeets this into the void*

Mei walked into the room to see Fletcher starfished on the couch, face pressed into the cushions. Her hair was rustled like a baby bird’s. Her snores were like whispers barely audible enough for Mei to hear… she couldn’t help but swoon at them. 

Then Fletch fell off the couch. She woke up with a start, and Mei ran over to help her. “You ok?” she asked as Fletch managed to start coming to her senses.

“I’m...” She blinked with those beautiful eyes of hers, then stared up at Mei for a second before bursting out laughing. “I’m completely fine.”

Mei helped her so that she was at least sitting up, before getting down beside her girlfriend.

Fletcher ran a hand through her hair… More staring.

Finally, Mei kissed Fletcher’s cheek. “You’re napping at like... 2 pm. Is anything wrong?” If anything, Fletcher was known for a perfect sleep schedule. It was Mei who lost sleep nearly constantly, even if logic said it should’ve been the other way around. Something had to be wrong for her to be napping. Maybe she was just too nervous though.

She was silent for a moment, twisting over to look at Mei. No, through her.

“I...” Fletcher stared at the wall behind Mei, deep in thought. Her earmuffs slid in front of her face, and she shook it off. “I don’t know,” she said. “I’m tired of thinking about...”

“Mugear, huh...” She’d mentioned it too many times for Mei not to know. She’d wanted to have a conversation about it, but had been too polite to push it.

She just wanted to help.

“And... Russell and I could’ve been hurt,” Fletcher said, continuing a sentence that she never started aloud. “Badly. Ed could’ve been hurt, Ed was going to get hurt...” She trailed off before staring at Mei with eyes glassing over with tears. “We hurt so many people back then,” she said. “I don’t know if I want to be an alchemist anymore if that’s what it means.”

There was a pause from Mei. Fletcher was an amazing alchemist, and it was almost like she could create life with her hands. She was a plant alchemist. In a way she very much  _ could _ create life.

“Fletcher, no...”

“Alchemy did that though, Mei. I want to help, to heal... I want to forget all that i’ve done but every time I do it just comes back, you know?”

She didn’t, and she hated it. She felt so useless in this situation, so she could do nothing but stare.

“You’ve never hurt anyone, have you?” Fletcher finally asked after staring into her crouched knees for longer than either of them wanted to admit.

She had. She’d hurt monsters, she’d been trained to fight assassins, and often killed them too. “No,” she lied. The only guilt she felt was for the fib. The people she’d hurt were barely people at all.

Fletcher smiled. “Thanks, but everyone has.”

“Fletch?” Mei asked. She really had to be doing badly… why the trick question?

“I’m tired,” she said finally. “I wanna stop thinking about this.” She took a different tone, and her eyes fell back down to the floor.

Mei nodded, leaning into Fletcher. The blonde stiffened but finally she leaned back. “Have you talked to Russell? Ed maybe…”

“I want Ed to forget,” she said quickly. “Russell and I have agreed to stop talking about it, I don’t wanna break that promise.”

It was quiet again. Mei hated the silence. She just wanted to do more… Anything that she could.

“Ok…” Mei said. She wished she could do more, but this was Mei’s battle to come to peace with. “That’s ok.”

There was a low groan from Fletcher.

“It is, ok?” To that, Fletch looked up again. There was a quiet nod, and her eyes were glassy. “You can get through this,” Mei said. She honestly believed it. 

Fletch nodded till tears started to leak. She leaned into Mei, hugging her tightly. “It’ll be ok?” she asked. Mei could hear how ragged her voice was.

“Yeah,” Mei said. “What happened happened… and if you wanna talk about it that’s ok. But the most you can do is move on.” Ling had said that all the time when the half-siblings talked about the promised day. She found herself mimicking his words.

“Mkay…” she said. Her shoulders shook, and Mei realized that Fletcher was starting to cry. “Thank you Mei…”

She nodded, hoping Fletch would feel the movement. “S’okay,” was all she said.

“Yeah.” Her shoulders stopped quivering for a moment, but her breaths were still ragged when she said, “It will be, ‘cause I’ve got you.”


End file.
